Two months ago I came back to Germany.
Well. How should I start this? First of all I'm home now, but do I still consider Bielefeld my home the way I used to before? The answer probably is no. Iowa City definitely stole some of what I consider home. But let's just do this in the chronological order:
When I arrived.
The weirdest thing was that, because nothing changed in Bielefeld and everything looked exactly like it did when I left, it all felt like a dream to me. It felt so surreal, as if I just came back from a vacation and not from a whole year gone. My family and best friend picked me up at the airport and with them it was all exactly like it was before. No awkwardness or the feeling of not knowing each other that well anymore, which I was a little afraid of. I packed out my suitcases and bags and when I looked at all those things that reminded me of Iowa, it was as if everything that happened didn't really happen to me but to someone else, and I was just someone that quietly watched it happen like a movie. I know it sounds weird but I don't know how else to describe it.
Friends.
So like I mentioned before, I was kind of scared to meet my friends because I didn't really know how I was supposed to face them. I wasn't too worried about my best friends but with my scaredness I mean other friends, and just people I knew in general.
How did they expect me to be after a year? Would they still accept me and include me like before? Did they forget about me? What have they done all this time and how did they change? Who are those new people that are hanging out with my friends now? Will I have to get along with them too? Or should I just find a new "group" in which I feel more comfortable and welcome?
All those things and more were constantly on my mind. When I did meet them, it wasn't bad but just different from what I imagined. They were all nice and acted like they did before, but it was a different feeling. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that there were those new people in our "group", people that I knew before but never really got close to. But it was about that time when I realized, they spent a year without me and they enjoyed it and got used to it. They simply got used to me not being there, and so did I. I would say that it was as if it didn't really matter if I was there or not, but that was just the same for me. I guess I simply have to get used to them and this whole situation again.
Rome.
Then I went to Rome for a week, to visit Eleonora. That was great, because we hadn't seen each other for quite a while. She was my personal tour guide in Rome, I could meet her family and friends, and we could talk about everything. That felt especially good because it allowed me to forget everything for a while (like traveling always does anyway). There will be another blogpost about Rome at some point too (gotta catch up with a lot so it might not be anywhere soon but bear with me).
School.
And then finally school started. I'm saying finally because I actually looked forward to school. It kind of gave me a reason to be here again. Also it made it easier to be around my friends and "acquaintances". Another good thing was that I got to know new people, made a few new friends which was a good change of pace. School at this moment isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Because I spoiled myself at the American High School with choosing mainly fun, elective classes, I thought now the seriousness of life would come at me again. But until now that wasn't the case, it's all pretty casual and relaxed. Also my school's a little unorganized so quite a few of my classes got cancelled in the first week. I'm sure this relaxed atmosphere won't last too long, but it's definitely nice in order to get used to the school.
The USA Tour.
Okay I'm noticing that I'm already talking waaaay too much so I'll end this post on the note that from now on, because I didn't have time while it actually happened, will post all the reports and photos from the amazing USA Tour that I did during the last month of my exchange year. So you can look forward to that!
When I arrived.
The weirdest thing was that, because nothing changed in Bielefeld and everything looked exactly like it did when I left, it all felt like a dream to me. It felt so surreal, as if I just came back from a vacation and not from a whole year gone. My family and best friend picked me up at the airport and with them it was all exactly like it was before. No awkwardness or the feeling of not knowing each other that well anymore, which I was a little afraid of. I packed out my suitcases and bags and when I looked at all those things that reminded me of Iowa, it was as if everything that happened didn't really happen to me but to someone else, and I was just someone that quietly watched it happen like a movie. I know it sounds weird but I don't know how else to describe it.
Friends.
So like I mentioned before, I was kind of scared to meet my friends because I didn't really know how I was supposed to face them. I wasn't too worried about my best friends but with my scaredness I mean other friends, and just people I knew in general.
How did they expect me to be after a year? Would they still accept me and include me like before? Did they forget about me? What have they done all this time and how did they change? Who are those new people that are hanging out with my friends now? Will I have to get along with them too? Or should I just find a new "group" in which I feel more comfortable and welcome?
All those things and more were constantly on my mind. When I did meet them, it wasn't bad but just different from what I imagined. They were all nice and acted like they did before, but it was a different feeling. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that there were those new people in our "group", people that I knew before but never really got close to. But it was about that time when I realized, they spent a year without me and they enjoyed it and got used to it. They simply got used to me not being there, and so did I. I would say that it was as if it didn't really matter if I was there or not, but that was just the same for me. I guess I simply have to get used to them and this whole situation again.
Rome.
Then I went to Rome for a week, to visit Eleonora. That was great, because we hadn't seen each other for quite a while. She was my personal tour guide in Rome, I could meet her family and friends, and we could talk about everything. That felt especially good because it allowed me to forget everything for a while (like traveling always does anyway). There will be another blogpost about Rome at some point too (gotta catch up with a lot so it might not be anywhere soon but bear with me).
School.
And then finally school started. I'm saying finally because I actually looked forward to school. It kind of gave me a reason to be here again. Also it made it easier to be around my friends and "acquaintances". Another good thing was that I got to know new people, made a few new friends which was a good change of pace. School at this moment isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Because I spoiled myself at the American High School with choosing mainly fun, elective classes, I thought now the seriousness of life would come at me again. But until now that wasn't the case, it's all pretty casual and relaxed. Also my school's a little unorganized so quite a few of my classes got cancelled in the first week. I'm sure this relaxed atmosphere won't last too long, but it's definitely nice in order to get used to the school.
The USA Tour.
Okay I'm noticing that I'm already talking waaaay too much so I'll end this post on the note that from now on, because I didn't have time while it actually happened, will post all the reports and photos from the amazing USA Tour that I did during the last month of my exchange year. So you can look forward to that!
Stay tuned!
Bye ⍟
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your comments make my day! :)